


Sad Old Clown

by Ladyylavender



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Depressing, Depression, Gen, Homeworld (Steven Universe), Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, One Shot, Sad Ending, Sad Spinel, Self-Hatred, Spinel deserves better, The Diamonds are kinda bad, author is projecting, i wrote this at 2AM can you tell?, short and shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 07:11:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21472075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyylavender/pseuds/Ladyylavender
Summary: No one wants to play with old toys
Relationships: Blue Diamond & Spinel (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond's Pearl & Spinel (Steven Universe), Spinel & The Diamonds
Kudos: 36





	Sad Old Clown

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Spinel has hella issues. This deals with a lot of self deprecating thoughts

It had been a few months since Spinels arrival to the diamonds palace and so far it was..interesting. She had inherited her previous best friends room and belongings. And that was nice. It really was. Pinks room was filled with interesting items hidden around. Spinel found a few flowers in a bubble (they had somehow not wilted), a huge vanity behind one of the walls and of course the pebbles. Those little gems kept her some much needed company. The diamonds were so busy dismantling the effects their tyrannical rule had had on the empire, they rarely had time for Spinel, it seemed. At least Pearl was there. She had belonged to Pink too so Spinel had hoped to find a friend in her, only to discover her experience with her diamond was radically different from that of the servant. So Spinel kept to her herself a lot. Singing and dancing with the diamonds as often as she could. 

—————

“Pink and I used to spend so much time here.”  
Spinel listened to Blue reminisce about her time with Pink in the extraction chambers. It seemed like it had been fun.  
“We used to spend hours singing and playing in the water. It was so nice.”, Blue smiled with a faraway stare. Clearly picturing the past she spoke about. Spinel (who was sat upon her knees) smiled back.  
“Sounds fun. Do you wanna sing with me?”, Spinel asked, eager for a chance to entertain herself and Blue Diamond. Said diamond stared blankly for a moment before agreeing with a smile.  
The duo entertained eachother by playing one of Pinks old games. Spinel held her breath with comically, oversized cheeks (earning a giggle from Blue) and swam down to the bottom of the bath. Once at the bottom, the pink gem began singing whichever Homeworld ballad came to mind. Blue had quite a hard time guessing the song, likely because of Spinels small size compared to her.  
The two played for hours on end. Splashing eachother, singing random melodies.. It was fun. Spinel wondered why everyday wasn’t like this.

————

As Spinel sat and stared at the star murals of her rooms walls, the happy memory seemed more and more inappropriate. With the endless mentions of Pink Diamond. About how funny she was, about how creative she was, about the funny games she used to play. Pinks games were one of Spinels least favorite topics of discussion. Like a well oiled machine, every mention of the subject stung the gems heart. It wasn’t even that bad, but the feeling was still there. Like nails clawing at a chalkboard against her ears. Like a knife cutting against a dinner plate. She hated it. So why didn’t she say something?  
“Am I just a replacement for Pink?”, Spinel asked herself despite knowing the answer. Nothing could ease the pain of knowing her only purpose to the diamonds was that of a distraction. A silly but mediocre distraction of the fact that their beloved was gone.  
“Spinel?”  
Her increasingly dark thoughts were interrupted by the tiny pebbles. A handful of them were climbing out the floor panels and staring with concerned expressions. Of course, they would pity her. Who wouldn’t pity a sad clown? Still Spinel tried to ignore the small gems and continue sulking. Her long legs pressed against her chest.  
“Are you okay?”  
Droning them out clearly wasn’t working. And their worry was too much to handle, at the moment.  
“Go away.”, Spinels voice was quiet and rather hoarse. The pebbles continued pestering.  
“You know if you’re sad, you can-“  
“I said: Go away!”  
Her voice boomed as she turned to glare at her companions. The tiny pebbles stared briefly before heading back under the floor panels.  
Spinel felt her knees give out as tears started cascading down her face. The incessant voice in her mind just grew louder. Screaming at her about how worthless she was, how nobody liked her, how she should’ve stayed in the garden. The gem started sobbing quietly as that voice took over her mind.


End file.
